Sorry – briefly distracted by things in the real world! I’m hoping to employ some more monkeys to stop it happening again.
So, this book idea seems to be gathering momentum. We have an extraordinarily generous offer to stick a real chunk of cash into it, John has very kindly put his hand up to do the cover, so I reckon the last piece of the jigsaw we need is a good typesetting/layout person. Anyone know any likely suspects?
It would also be nice to have a proper editor, although I think we want to leave most of the internet-jumbled warp and woof of it all more or less as is. The monkeys are happy to take care of this, but they tell me it would be more elegant if we could find a human editor – so do please have an ask around if you know anyone who might enjoy it.
When we have a mock-up ready, we can probably speed up the legal challenge (and/or complaint to the police!) by sending a copy straight to Julian and asking him if there’s any redaction he’d particularly like to suggest.
Julian is the author of three novels to date: Ragged Cliffs, Inheritance Lost and An Equal Judge. Though standalone novels, the three books also form a trilogy – The Treharne Saga. If you're quick, you might still be able to get signed copies on Amazon for 1p each.
Julian Fuck - Author? 
Can I suggest a plot and title? An old fashioned crime novel, twelve people in a rural setting and a heinous crime has taken place. We’ll call it ‘Murder at the Kidwelly E-festival’.
I found her body in the grey morning light. She had been torn, quite literally, to pieces. My breath caught in my throat. ‘Miss Comma,’ I whispered, in disbelief. She had been so beautiful.
I edit when I’m not drinking lattes or going on grant-funded jollies. I can edit very sympathetically. Might we include just a little bit of a ‘before and after’ of Julian’s scintillating work? And, conversely, a Rucked excerpt of War and Peace and R. S.?
And they say love is blind! You treasure. Those two-way before and afters are definitely worth some writing time. Shall we share them?
You realise what this means? All I own is Ragged Cliffs. I cannot do justice with Ragged Cliffs alone. I’m going to have to spend a penny.
How one, might Ruck ‘Invasion on the Farm’:
“I am. Prytherch forgive, me. I DON’T KNOW
What, you are talking about your thought’s flow
Too. Swiftly for me I cannot, “dawdle”
Along their bank’s and fish, in thier quick stream;
With, crude finger’s I am. Alone exposed
In my own field’s with no place. To run,
From your sharp eye’s I who, a moment, back
Paddled in the bright grass. The old farm
Warm as a sack about, me. Feel the cold
Wind’s of, the world, blowing. THE, PATCHED
GATE YOU LEFT; OPEN WILL NEVER BE SHUT AGAIN.”
Ugh. Feel a bit seasick now. Sorry R. S. Thomas.
That brought me to the verge of tears. If only we could get a video camera beyond the veil.
Oops, our comments passed in the ether, like Ruck’s commas that scream but are not heard.
STOP PRESS!
I just checked, my beloved, copy of ‘Inheritance Lo’st’. Hang on I’ll write as myself now (these books are a pernicious influence). Rather bizarrely I discovered that the distributor is the Welsh Books Council!
My jaw hit the floor! The same taxpayers money guzzling nepotistic organization that only promotes second rate literature that no one reads? Think of the hospitals that could run if they didn’t have to distribute so many thousands of Ruck’s novels, in Wales alone?
As well as being a plagiarist it is now fairly obvious to me that he is also a hypocrite who, like G Brightmore, seems to have benefited from grants to Welsh literary organizations. Gwales is the WBC’S commercial arm, Julian is their loudest critic; should he not out of principle refuse their services instead of putting his books forward to be represented and promoted on their site? At tax payers expense of course!
http://www.gwales.com/search_advanced/index.php?sid=4&tsid=5
I notice none of his books are on the bestseller lists? I think Mssr Ruck may have a case to answer here?
JULI,AN, RUCK, UTTERLY, DISCREDD,DITTED!
This moved me to tear’s LL, to, tear’s:
“The old farm
Warm as a sack about, me. Feel the cold
Wind’s of, the world, blowing. ”
Sublime.
I am happy to, help edit the book.
My feeling is that the book would greatly benefit from a few choice morsels of Ruck’s own blog rants and extracts from his pro’se, but if he refuses us copyright then we have more than enough with the contents of this blog and ‘fair use’ of JR’s own stuff. I’d like to see more close reading of individual pages of his novels. We can also use a few stills (sorry – still’s) from the ‘Chapter Talk’, and a few images of his plagiarised Llanelli Star column etc.
Thank you, Welshnot. I am encouraged now to try my hand, at ‘poetry’.
Perhaps a learned essay from one of those ‘academics’ examining Welsh writing in English from a Ruckist perspective (this could be THE new lit crit), and another situating Jewels within the grand tradition of Welsh satire… Oh wait. Of course. We must apply to the Books Council for a grant to publish this book.
Did you know that their food comes preprepared by an outside catering?
Delete this comment please. Wrong blog! Sorry!
I like that comment nebonebo! Fuck Towers is getting Dada.
I thought Julian Ruck approach at book plotting and characterisation was already slightly dadaist?
Fuck Towers has always been Dada,rling!
Me too ! leave it up. It shows Jewels is not hidebound by bourgeois notions of relevance. (Also I like the implication, coming as it does after a comment about The Welsh Books Council, that the WBC get meals on wheels after an arduous day of answering Julian’s FOI requests).
I was genuinely surprised to find the WBC is Julian’s distributor. I just think that Julian should not attack them and approach them to distribute his books, at tax payers expense. Smells a bit of hypocrisy if you ask me and demonstrates a lack of principle.
,
ce n’est pas une virgule
“Smells a bit of hypocrisy if you ask me and demonstrates a lack of principle.”
Yes, me too – very surprised to find hypocrisy and lack of principle in Mr Ruck. Still, this is probably why I am a surrealist.
It is a genuinely rank piece of steaming hypocrisy, which surprises the monkeys not in the least little bit. Mr Ruck, you stand revealed as a cad and a bounder. You swear at ladies, try and make money out of organisations you disparage, and waste taxpayers’ money with frivolous complaints. In a just world, you would feel enough shame to throw dog shit at your own windows.
Any of the monkeys heading to Julian creative writing talk later? The irony of his speaking at The Diplomat is delicious.
They’re going to be swinging from the chandeliers (and any available street lights, apparently) – although they’re going to find it a bit difficult, since I had to tie their hands behind their backs to make sure they didn’t throw any dog shit and/or copies of Julian’s oeuvre! [Note to police: that’s a joke. I wouldn’t really tie my monkeys up. Er, I mean, they wouldn’t really throw any dog shit. Er, hang on, I mean there aren’t any monkeys, they’re imaginary. No, really.]
Mr Ruck’s gone very quiet these last few days. Has he so censored his own blog that it’s died? I mean where’s the fun, the tussle and thrust (oh, goodness) when you’ve got only one or two comments and one or both of them are your own, while your admirer’s posts get dozens? Perhaps he’s lost heart now Gillian’s abandoned him. I’m worried. What if no one turns up?
Say it’s not so! I think he’s just working hard at editing out any ‘self-important waxing’ from his talk at the Diplomat. I mean, any waxing is painful enough, but self-important waxing really is scraping the fucket. Sorry, bucket.
Poor Julian, delusional, comic Julian. Does he really, honestly, think he is qualified to give a talk on creative writing? Does he genuinely have the rampant egocentricity to call himself an ‘enthralling speaker’. Tragic is not the word and without myself (the dribbling Catweazle) and ‘Reich-herder Davelard’ (?) of ‘Pratithan’ books and his ‘acolytes’ I fear not a soul will be there.