Grammarly bids to rescue ‘The Bent Brief’

Oh, Ju-u-lian! My lazy (and imaginary, old chap!) monkeys just ran the first chapter of ‘The Bent Brief’ through Grammarly – definitely worth you having a squint at what they’ve got to say.

For those of you who haven’t yet indulged yourselves by reading at least several sentences of the opening chapter of Julian’s Briefs (not many people can stomach more), here it is:

And here’s what Grammarly has to say about it:


Pause for thought, Julian. Pause for thought.

Although personally, I suspect that Grammarly is erring on the side of kindness.



Filed under The Society for the Preservation of Commas

19 responses to “Grammarly bids to rescue ‘The Bent Brief’

  1. thelatteliterati

    Mr Ruck’s prose is a very useful teaching tool. Students really sit up and pay attention when I use sections of Ragged Cliffs to illustrate cliche, overstatement, mixed metaphor and the Problem of the Comma. One student was so delighted by the tidbits that she decided she must buy and read the whole book. I fear for her. Have I been very irresponsible?

  2. I stare at my own copy, I think of all the other good things that penny could have bought, and I wonder; yes, I wonder. Still, we cannot protect our children and young people for ever, and it may even teach her to be more careful with her money.

    A bold gambit, at any rate – I salute you. It smacks a little of kill or cure, but there’s clearly a valuable place for both in the current education system, as I’m sure Julian himself would agree.

  3. The Dalai Lama

    Is it true that Julian actually pays a publicity company to hawk his anti welsh bile around the right wing media? Does he think he ll sell more books on the back of the attention? He actually forks out cash to self publish and then forks out more cash to promote it. He says he sells thousands of copies but I’ve never once seen a book of his in a shop and he’s abut zillionth on amazon booksales. Does anyone actually know where I can buy a low detector we could strap him to and ask him those questions you so kindly set out in this blog?

  4. The Dalai Lama

    “low detector” ?
    My apologies jewels, I’m making mistakes (Julian would of course just call it “writing”) and meant “lie detector”.

  5. Welshnot

    Dear Jewels,
    Julian has left a nasty post on his blog in response to my corrections of his pisspoor education knowledge (see below: you kindly published it for me). He has now left a nasty and spiteful comment saying that I’m running scared from his police investigation. When I reply to him, he doesn’t publish it. And so on.
    I’m frightened Jewels, frightened: now that I have the police on my tail and Julian has mobilised the SILENT, MAJORITY!!! , there’s nowhere to turn but here.
    So here, in any case, is the reply that Julian has censored from his blog. It may be my last missive. I can hear the sirens outside…

    Dear Julian
    The reason I’ve given up posting correctives onto your fantasy site is that you’re a coward and you are afraid to post them. Ditto with the bigoted , not to say racist comments you’ve made about Welsh, and my many challenges to you to come clean about your rejection at the hands of Seren and your untruths about having an agent.
    Henceforth, while I will still leave the odd hopeful message on this site, to remind you that, for a man who claims to want debate, you’re a rather frightened little grump, and for a man who slings smears around at others, you’re a thin skinned mouse, I will in fact be leaving my comments on Jewels from Julian, which now seems to be the most popular of the available Julian Ruck sites.
    As I said, I greatly look forward to your attempts to have me arrested and criminalised for challenging your lies and your inaccuracies.
    Post this Julian, show me you’re not a coward.
    No sign of Ross or Gillian these days either is there?
    Did you ask Literature Wales for money for Kidwelly, by the way? It’s being looked into now…

    • You must admit, he’s a master of the Catch-22 line of argument. I love the way he deletes your comments and then suggests you’re too scared to respond to him. In anyone else, it would be comic genius.

  6. Welshnot

    Here is the man himself, Julian Luther King:

    February 4, 2013 at 6:55 PM
    You seem to have gone frightfully quiet, ‘Welshnot’? Not so brave, malicious and comically pedantic now are you, with your cloak of anonymity under threat and being the subject of a police investigation?

    And you thought I was bluffing, dear me.

    Yet another serious miscalculation on your part, I think.


    and my modest and quiet reply:

    I wouldn’t call pointing out that the Welsh Bac has already been in use for nearly a decade (Julian Ruck: ‘The New Welsh Bac’…) or that Wales is keeping GCSE and A levels while England is going into untried waters amid much disquiet, malicious or pedantic (let alone “comically” so), it’s a simple attempt to get you to see beyond your own arse-bluster and address some facts.

    • Puppy

      Have you (or anyone else) seen Julian’s latest rantings on his blog? I know the’re all points that have been covered here before but I feel someone should still post their response to this latest outburst…

  7. anonymous benefactor

    I have just spotted Mr Ruck’s nasty and personal attacks, renewed on this blog (, upon Gwyneth Lewis. The blogger has had to edit Ruck’s vicious comments, but I hope he’s kept a copy of them. Ruck is clearly lashing out at everyone in, often, rather mysoginistic ways, yet HE!! calls the police on ANYONE!!! (those capitals are a homage to him rather than my own writing style) who corrects him, and claims that the often witty and literate badinage in which Jewels, Welshnot, Mrs P-T, Mrs D Woman et al, engage , constitute threats of violence.
    Deeply ridiculous.
    I love this blog. It entertains me and everyone in my family; it is funny and witty and well-written, and the contributors, some of the them hugely distinguished (MLK, Dai Lama, et al), whatever side they take, for or against Mr Ruck, express themselves with elegance and passion.
    For this reason, I am offerring – proffering even – £500 of my own money to produce an anthology of this blog’s finest posts, comments and images. I am a rank amateur in the publishing world, but i am sure we could produce a small and elegant book, a keepsake if you will, to commemorate this episode in British literary history.
    I’m not sure of the copyright position regarding quotation from Mr Ruck’s work, but I’d see this as containing a few close readings of choice passages, perhaps with some images from Grammarly as well, and a selection of Jewels from Julian.
    How about it?

    • I am tickled a luxuriant pink by this wonderfully proffered offer. The 1988 Act is clear that quotation for the purpose of criticism does not constitute a breach of copyright. I think we would need a small team of experienced professionals – for to do it must be to do it well. Let’s start scouting for volunteers and see how far we get.

  8. anonymous benefactor

    I think the blog address is

    It goes without saying of course that this anthology I propose would be launched in splendour at the Chapter in Cardiff, with readings and performances (?) and a great deal of booze.

    • Mrs Penn-Thomas

      If we do a performance then we should all wear hats and dark glasses in honour of Mr Parthian and read each others words in honour of Mr Ruck’s twisted perception. Or as an ensemble Greek chorus stylie – we are all “you people”. I am getting quite a vision of the theatrical possibilities. Have the monkeys got equity cards?

  9. This is particularly funny, ‘enthralling speaker, Julian Ruck’. Embarrassing to write that about yourself, particularly if your surnames Ruck and your talk is on creative writing! Great choice of photo as well, my cringeometre is going haywire!

  10. P.S If anyone needs to lay low from the full force of the Heddlu I have a spare room, could easily fit a few thousand imaginary monkeys in. Somewhere.

    • Puppy

      Ooh be careful – or Julian will start claiming that this room is our headquarters, in which we all sit and conspire against him!

    • Thank you! The monkeys tell me that the police are still a comfortable distance from the front door (they’re stationed in a variety of trees between Fuck Towers and Julian’s own humble abode), but they are insistent that they could, and would very much like to, fit surprisingly neatly on a comfortable sofa. Particularly, I gather, if they had half a chance of a brandy and a cigar or two. They are, sadly, monkeys much given to vice.

  11. Howlin Wolf

    Do you think someone should point out that a police investigation will be a waste of taxpayer’s money?

    Honestly! that man has me singing the blues but thanks to Jewels I’m howling for joy.

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